we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
