ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
