Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
