I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
