If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
