I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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