Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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