I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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