i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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