you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
