Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
