I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize
