is this the sara with the beer cane?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
