I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
