i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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