Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
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Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
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Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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