you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
