What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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