Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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