Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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