Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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