Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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