How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm sobbing to NWA
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
