I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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