I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
