So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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