Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Randomize
