True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I've blown a few things in my day
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
