I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
