just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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