Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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