dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
