you traded sex for a burrito?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I just forgot I was standing up.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
