What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
a search helicopter?!
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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