this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
