thus making me awesome and them whores
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
