she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
