it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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