VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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