guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Randomize
