so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
