I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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