don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize