My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
