you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
