so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
