gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
