all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
