No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
