Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
