Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
