I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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