I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize