Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
