i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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