Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
