Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You're a waste of cheezeits
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
