I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Let's get the cat blown out
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
