Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
