Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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