we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
