That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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