I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
