fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
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I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
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On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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