And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
