So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
