yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Randomize
