Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
