We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
