Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize