Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
