I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
