your parents love me but you hate me
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
