when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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