just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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