I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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